cannivalisms:

starting a collection

(via carry-on-my-wayward-butt)

HEAVEN omg !!!! name a more romantic song rn you CANT

dovv:

me as a youtuber making thousands of dollars off of video essays paraphrasing the Wikipedia articles for horrific travesties throughout European and Asian history: uhh okay I’m not even gonna TRY to pronounce that one 😂

(via newgenroys)

thesituation:

worst effect of choice feminism has to be the destigmatization of plastic surgery.. we need to restigmatize that NOW

(via newgenroys)

hatingongodot:

I love lying to kids. It’s so fun. My coworker’s daughter said she speaks 2 languages and I said I spoke 17,000 and she narrowed her eyes at me and was like “… no you don’t” and it was the cutest thing.

The last time I saw her I told her I was a “half-magician” that can only do 50% of a trick, and I showed her how I can tear a piece of paper in two but can’t make it come back together, and she got soooo annoyed with me. Absolutely adorable. Lying to children is the best

(via freshpickle)

pathtrick:

i have witnessed unspeakable horrors . the horrors weren’t undescribable or anything, i just had to sign an NDA

(via newgenroys)

handweavers:

who are you when you are not watching tv or movies? when you aren’t playing video games or reading a book or fanfiction or listening to music or whatever other kind of media that you engage with? who are you when your mind isn’t in another world or story, when you are forced to sit with yourself and the only experience you have is your own sensorial life? can you define yourself outside of what you consume? who is that person? do you like them? can you bear it? can you bear it?

(via freshpickle)

infamousrunawayxnginxxr:

sneef-to-a-snorf-fight:

dammitsammy:

hugs-to-a-knife-fight:

theawkwardqueerturtle:

chiribomb:

schakira:

hugs-to-a-knife-fight:

rogha:

there’s got to be at least one trans woman named eve out there whose deadname is adam. and she’s the funniest person to ever grace this earth with her presence.

I feel so appreciated :3

WE FOUND HER!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD SAID ADAM AND EVE SO SHE WAS BOTH

I said this same thing! Except I’m also bi so I add to it a little 😇

Oh hey idk why it says I deactivated. I just changed my name. Still here babes 😎

(via carry-on-my-wayward-butt)

What is it about fertile soil that makes people invent religions? The levant, Indus valley, southern Illinois

cryptotheism:

My easily-sewn crops allow me time for lust and pondering.

kawaiigod:

sex in the shower? no. slip and bust my ass. break my dick. she slippin too. she knock her head on the tile she passed out. bleedin. i cant walk cause my jimmy snapped. thought this was gonna be sexy and we both end up half dead.

(via loveliesttime)

kosmogrl:

wanting time to pass because life is hard to deal with at the time vs the never ending anxiety over the passage of time

(via freshpickle)

xiaoguiwang:

“cost of living” i dont think being alive & all that entails should cost money, like, at all.

(via freshpickle)

meteorherd:

saw someone refer to not knowing how to keep track of your money as “girl math” ……why are we in this weird era of treating women like idiots but repackaging it to sound cute and quirky. We All Need To Stop

(via freshpickle)

heedra:

heedra:

fuck “girl lunch” fuck “girl math” a woman is a hairy animal who sweats and grunts and excretes and hungers and gets wrinkly and dies eventually. you have to love that.

ppl are tagging this post with things like ‘ooh i want to meet a woman like this’ or with specific characters which kind of misses the point i was trying to make. ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS. IT STANDS IN CONTRAST TO NOTHING. WRAP YOUR ARMS AROUND IT.

(via yourbestamericangirlmp3)

gorgeousgreymatter-x:

I like how barbie told men that being themselves is enough and conservatives called that being anti-men

(via freshpickle)